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         There should be a poem for every girl
         with black hair and black eyes
         who's sat across the aisle on a crowded train
         and written pointless beautiful things
         in the notebook in her lap.

         I might write my name and number on a bit of paper
         Drop it on your page as I'm getting off.

         But I prefer to think it and write it than to know
         What might happen if I actually did.

         I'm sorry I've been staring. But you see
         I fall in love easily and often
         and I find more life in never-met imaginary trysts
         than the close-to imperfections of what's real.




.
©2006-2009 ~LazyLinePainterJohn
:iconlazylinepainterjohn:

Author's Comments

#245, if you please.

Not much to say for this one, except that it was written while it was happening, two days ago. Will most likely be Scrapped soon.

Comments


love 2 2 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:icontangled-up-in-blue:
i got so excited when i saw that you submitted something. haha.

this is beautiful.

"and written pointless beautiful things
in the notebook in her lap"

"I fall in love easily and often"

my favorite parts :)
:iconlerianna:
This is not scrap material, sugar.

--
Breathe-in experience,
breathe-out poetry.
--Muriel Rukeyser
:iconnostalgiaofmud:
Are you back from the silence of examination rooms? This poem is true - and therefore beautiful. It has a purity of expression and thought which is wholly admirable.
:iconsingzion:
I like it. It's real and simple and lovely. Think I might stick to "never-met imaginary trysts" from now one too. Real-life-love hurts too much.

--
Life is more than breathing in and out
:iconanarchypress:
I like the directness here, but the final stanza seems a bit redundant to me. We "get it" after What might happen if I actually did.

~M

--
[link]
:iconyugure:
Very beautiful; there's something intangibly magical about the lay of the words.

I agree with one of the other commentors: I think the poem is complete with <i>"What might happen if I actually did."</i> To be honest, my favorite part is the entire first stanza, and I could see that as a whole, complete poem by itself.
:iconlazylinepainterjohn:
Thank you! That's compliments indeed, I'm very touched.
:iconlazylinepainterjohn:
I'm very flattered you think so. Thanks for the favourite, too.
:iconlazylinepainterjohn:
This poem is unworthy of such a splendid comment; for that and the favourite, thank you muchly. My last exam, on late antique philosophy, is tomorrow. I'm off to learn the second part of the five-week course in a moment.
:iconlazylinepainterjohn:
"Real and simple and lovely" - unlike its author in so many respects. No, Emily, no, this poem is a warning. Write your number on bits of paper and give them to pretty strangers with notebooks.

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February 8, 2006
1.5 KB

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